Screwed Up Yu Yu Hakusho Versions of Nursery Songs
by Koganeiro Kitsune
Summary: Just as the title says, I force the cast to do Yu Yu Hakusho versions of nursery songs('cept Kurama, if he doesn't want to)! Rated cause of Hiei. Not a lot of SHOWN cursing. NEW CHAPTER UP AT LONG LAST!
1. Little Miss Muffit

Screwed Up, Retarded Yu Yu Hakusho Versions of Songs.

Chapter 1: Little Miss Muffit, OR The Insanity Begins

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. 

*backstage, and you see a young girl with jet-black hair and sparkly black eyes waving to you*

Koganeiro Kitsune: Hello, and welcome to _our Yu Yu Hakusho remediation of favorite nursery songs! You can call me just plain, Kitsune. Behind me, you have the cast, *waves hand dramatically at-air. (Coughs) waits. (Coughs louder) waits. (Starts hacking)*_

Kuwabara: You know, you should get some medicine. 

Kitsune: Oh, hey, Kuwabara. *Looks around* Where's the rest of the cast?

Kuwabara: *Points over shoulder. Behind him, Hiei is the rope of Tug-of-war between two people, and Yusuke just walked in. Kurama is standing by another girl looking almost just like Kitsune, just more evil like.*

Kitsune: Oh, I'd like you to meet my co-stars. Here's Kyoda, my Yami, *points to person next to Kurama* Katie, my best friend, *Points to person with short, shoulder length dark blonde hair and grey blue eyes holding onto Hiei's right arm, and pulling hard* and Lindsey, my other best friend. *Points to person with long, reaches to the middle of the shoulder blades brown hair and brown eyes, holding onto Hiei's Left arm, and pulling hard*

Katie: Hiei is mine!

Lindsey: No! He's mine!

Katie: Mine!

Lindsey: Mine!

Kyoda: Don't care, long as I have Kurama. *suddenly squeezes Kurama*

Kurama: Can't-breathe *turns blue*

Kitsune: *has the angry, fiery eyes. Stomps over to Kyoda, and grabs Kurama's right arm, and frees him from Kyoda. Kyoda, of course, does not take this well.* 

Kyoda: (warningly) Hikari...

Kitsune: (whines, big puppy dog eyes) Yami... *tugs harder*

Kyoda: Fine. *lets go* 

Kurama: Thank you. I was about to suffo-

Kitsune: *Starts squeezing him to death*

Kurama: Can't-breathe. 

Kitsune: Well, now that everyone's here, we can begin our play! 

Yusuke: Play?

Kitsune: Yeah! We are going to do Yu Yu Hakusho versions of favorite nursery songs!  

Kuwabara: Is that good? 

Kitsune: Maybe for me, Katie, Kyoda, Lindsey, and Kurama! 

Kuwabara: Why Kurama too?

Kitsune Fox: Cause he's my favorite character! If he doesn't want to participate, he doesn't have to! 

Yusuke: Lucky. 

Kurama: Can't-breathe...

Kitsune: *Lets go of him* 

Kurama: *gasping for air* 

Kitsune: Well... since everyone's here, we will begin! *gets Hiei away from Katie and Lindsey*

Yusuke: *gets on stage and looks at scenery* Ack! *scenery is a badly painted happy theme thing with a big, grinning sun in the middle* 

Katie: Like it? We painted it ourselves.

Yusuke. NO!!!! 

Kitsune: Well, on with the story! *Begins reciting* Little Miss Muffit,

Hiei: *is pushed onstage wearing a big, poofy, pink and purple dress, with a hoop skirt and bonnet to match.* @#*%, @#**^, &&$*&#@@$*, @*&$*$#&^%@, @*#*&%@, #^**@@^#!!!!!!!!!!! 

Kurama: *dryly* What colorful language you have, Hiei. 

Yusuke: *Laughing so hard he's crying, pulls out video camera, starts filming* Oh, all the blackmail... all the wonderful blackmail! 

Kitsune: -sat on her tuffit.

Hiei: *looks around, until something falls from the sky and lands on top of him.* *Gets out from under it, and looks at it* That's a chair. 

Kitsune: SIT, MUFFIT! 

Hiei: O.O; Yes, ma'am! *sits* 

Kitsune: Eating her curds and whey. 

Lindsey: *Runs onstage, hands Hiei a bowl, and runs back off.*

Hiei: *Looks at bowl, points to it* There is no way in Spirit World HELL am _I_ eating _THAT! _

Kyoda: *Smirks, runs onstage, takes the bowl, smashes it in his face, and runs off laughing manically* 

Hiei: *covered in curds and whey. Death glare, reaches for his katana, and finds it's not there.* What the-? WHERE THE @$*&^@&#^! IS MY KATANA?!?!?!?!?!? 

Katie: *is nowhere to be found* 

Kitsune: Along came a spider-

Kuwabara: *is hanging from the ceiling in a cheesy spider costume stitched up in fifty places* 

Kitsune: Who sat down beside her-

Kuwabara: *Is dropped from the ceiling and crashes through the floor next to Hiei*

Hiei: *laughing his rear end off* 

Kitsune: And scared poor Miss Muffit away. 

Hiei: *still laughing, laughing so hard, he kneels over and falls in the hole Kuwabara made* 

Everyone: *sweatdrop* 

Yusuke: *stops filming, runs off to have copies made, laughing manically, then, suddenly stops and turns around* Wait... does Hiei _have anything worth blackmailing him for? _

Kurama: Well... _everybody_ has _something_. 

Yusuke: Good. *continues running off, laughing manically.*

Kurama: *sweatdrop*

Kitsune: O-okay... Well, that was our insanely stupid try at Little Miss Muffit... I guess I'll see you later! 

Katie: *Come back with lots of money* Hey, is it over? 

Kitsune: Yeah. Where were you?

Katie: Auctioning off Hiei's katana on EBay. 

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

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AN: Yeah, that was pathetic, And short... but don't blame me! Please review, and I'll put up another chapter! Next chapter: Little Bunny Fu Fu and The Three Blind Mice. (That is right, right?) 

~Koganeiro Kitsune


	2. Little Bunny Fu Fu and The Three Blind M...

Chapter 2: Little Bunny Fu Fu and The Three Blind Mice, OR The Insanity Continues

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I DO own myself, Katie, Lindsey and Kyoda, however. In fact, I don't own any of the nursery songs, either.

Kyoda: No you don't. _I_ own me.

Kitsune: Fine. Thanks for all the reviews, everyone!

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          _(scene is: Kitsune waving enthusiastically to you, Kyoda stalking Kurama, Katie and Lindsey talking, Hiei listening to them, Kuwabara in the front of the stage)_

Kitsune: Hey, people! We're back!

Audience: *Cricket, cricket*

Kyoda: WHY ARE THERE CRICKETS?! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF WINTER! (imagination, people!)

Kitsune: ...

Kurama: Has anyone seen Yusuke? 

Lindsey: I think he's still off making copies of 'Little Miss Muffit." 

Kurama: Ah. Well... he'd better get back here fast, or else we can't do Little Bunny Fu Fu. 

Hiei: *Was eavesdropping* YUSUKE! YOU HAD BETTER NOT COME BACK HERE! YOU HEAR!

Yusuke: *Walks in the door, listening to a walkman.* 

Hiei: *Sweatdrop* 

Kitsune: Great! Now that we have everybody, we can do the show! Let's see... KUWABARA! 

Kuwabara: *Walks backstage* Yeah? 

Kitsune: We'll need you. We are going to be doing 'Little Bunny Fu Fu.' 

Yusuke: *Looks onstage* ACK! *Scene is an even worse painted forest with a field of corn off to the side. The trees look like stick people with afros holding green cotton candy, and the half the field is yellow, and half is pink.* WHY IS THE CORN PINK?! 

Katie: We ran out of yellow paint. 

Yusuke: Bu-But PINK! 

Kyoda: Live with it. 

Yusuke: -.-;

Kitsune: Well, since everything is ready, we will begin! 

Kurama: *Pulls out camcorder, and fumbles with it.*

Kitsune: *Starts reciting* Little Bunny Fu Fu-

Kuwabara: *Is pushed onstage wearing a pink Easter Bunny costume. You can see his face in the rabbit's mouth.* 

Kitsune: -hopping through the forest.

Kuwabara: *Walks past the fake trees*

Kitsune: HOP!

Kuwabara: *Walks.*

Kyoda: *Runs onstage, holding a large hook, hooks it onto the back of Kuwabara's costume, and runs offstage*

Lindsey: *Operating the crane, makes Kuwabara go up and down like a jackhammer* 

Kuwabara: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! 

Lindsey: *Snickers*

Kitsune: Scooping up all he field mice-

Hiei: *Is pushed onstage wearing an old rat costume, you can see his face in the mouth.* 

Kuwabara: *Picks up Hiei by the back of the neck (costume)*

Kitsune: And bopping them on the head!

Kuwabara: *Insane grin, sends Hiei crashing through the floor* 

Kitsune: And then comes the fairy godmother!

Yusuke: *Flies by the stage insanely fast, wearing a blue poofy dress and wire wings* WOAAHH! 

Katie: *Operating other crane* Oops. 

Yusuke: *Is being flung all over the stage.* 

Kuwabara: HIT THE DECK! 

Kyoda: *Confused, takes a stick and whacks a deck of cards.* 

Everyone, except Yusuke: *Sweatdrop* 

Hiei: *Climbs up from the hole in the stage, and Yusuke promptly crashes into him, knocking the fire demon back into the hole* 

Half an hour later:

Yusuke: *Groans, is green* 

Katie: YAY! I finally learned to control it! 

Kitsune: And now we can continue! *Continues* Who said, Little Bunny Fu Fu, I don't want to see you-

Yusuke: *Still groggy, shakes his right index finger at Kuwabara, but loses control of his spirit gun and it fires and blows up in Kuwabara's face.* O-ops.

Kitsune: Scooping up all the field mice- 

Scorched Kuwabara: *Picks Hiei up from the hole* 

Kitsune: And bopping them on the head!

Kuwabara: *Insane grin, sends Hiei crashing through the floor again* 

Hiei: @_@ 

Kuwabara: HAHAHAHAHA! REVENGE! *Is immediately buried in random stuff thrown by Hiei fans* Ow. 

Kurama: HA! I FOUND THE 'ON' BUTTON TO THE CAMCORDER!

Kitsune: Kurama... it's over.

Kurama: T.T

Kitsune: BUT! Because it was so short, we'll do Three Blind Mice, starring Youko Kurama, Koto, and Juri! (Koto and Juri are the judges in the Dark Tournament. Koto is the fox demon) *Waves, and all three appear*

Kyoda: O.O YOUKO KURAMA! *Changes into Youko Kyoda and immediately glomps him* 

Kurama: And how did you get him without making me disappear?! 

Kitsune: *Leans back in chair* Ah... the power of being an authoress... *Leans back too far and topples over* (from floor) and this is your second chance at working the camcorder. *Stands up* Okay, people. Yusuke, check the scenery. 

Yusuke: *Looks* AACK!! *Scenery is a purple farmhouse kitchen with a sink and cabinet and pantries and silverware* 

Katie: I don't think you like it... Kuwabara mistook the white paint for milk...

Yusuke: NOOO!!! 

Kitsune: Okay! That's my cue!

Kurama: *Turns on camcorder*

Kitsune: *Starts reciting* Three blind mice-

Youko, Koto, and Juri: *Are pushed onstage, with no costumes*

Youko: Umm... we can still see...

Youko Kyoda: *Puts blindfolds on all of them*

Kitsune: Three blind mice. See how they run.

Youko, Koto, Juri: ...

Katie: *Stabs them all with a hot poker*

Youko, Koto, Juri: *Running around with smoking tails, yelping*

Youko Kyoda: *Is killing Katie for hurting Youko* DIE! 

Kitsune: See how they run.

Yusuke: You're repeating yourself. 

Kitsune: Shut up.

Youko, Koto, Juri: *Running, smashing into items, the stage, each other* 

Kitsune: They all ran after the farmer's wife-

Youko Kyoda: *Pushed onstage wearing an old-fashioned dress. Youko, Koto, and Juri immediately crash into her.*

Kitsune: She cut off their tails with a carving knife.

Youko Kyoda: *Grabs carving knife, and looks at them evilly*

Youko, Koto, Juri: O.O; (oh, wait, they're blindfolded... OH WELL!)

Youko Kyoda: *Running around randomly chopping at Koto and Juri's tails.*

Youko, Koto, Juri: *Running away, crashing into stuff* 

Kitsune: Have you ever seen such a sight in your life? 

Hiei, Katie, Lindsey, Kurama, holding the camcorder: No. 

Kitsune: The three blind mice. 

Youko Kyoda: *Is still trying to cut off their tails* 

Kitsune: Kyoda, it's over. 

Youko Kyoda: So what do I do with them?

Kitsune: I don't care.

Youko Kyoda: *Evil glint in eyes. She chases Koto and blows her up using her Phoenix of the Light Ember technique, and throws Juri out the window. Then, she starts chasing Youko.*

Kitsune: Um... Okay... Youko Kyoda's special technique is her Phoenix of the Light Ember... It's the only attack _I've seen that can withstand or beat Hiei's Dragon of the Darkness Flame... I've seen it in action..._

Youko Kyoda: *Comes back with Youko Kurama on a leash* 

Youko Kurama: *Is suffering a fatal blow to his Youko pride* 

Youko Kyoda: Heh, heh...

Kurama: I FOUND THE RECORD BUTTON! 

Everyone: *Sweatdrop*

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AN: Okay... yet another pathetically twisted attempt at humor from the depths of my scary mind that scares me. I'm not kidding. Most of "Sacrifice" was from a dream I had. Okay... if you review, you'll get Mary Had A Little Lamb! (Thank you, Crazy Buttafly) 

~Koganeiro Kitsune


	3. ACCUSION

Authoress's rambling

I apologize to everyone who thinks this is an update. But someone accused me of stealing an idea, and I had to set it straight. 

Saria, too bad if I had the same idea as you, but I do not know you, and**_I_ created the Phoenix of the Light Ember technique in **_MY_** story. Therefore, the Phoenix of the Light Ember technique is MINE IN **_MY_** STORIES! I don't want to sound too mean, but I think it's just COMPLETELY unfair when someone accuses me of stealing something I spent time on to MAKE UP MYSELF! So, since it came from MY imagination, I only give you credit for **_ALSO_** making it up, NOT TOTALLY OWNING IT! And I have NO idea what you meant when you said 'interactive Dark Tournaments...' In fact, I don't even think the techniques are the same! If you don't believe me, check up often for my upcoming story: When You Snap. There, it'll describe the technique, and I bet you ANYTHING it is different from the one you made up. **

Okay... and another thing. I know Kurama isn't that stupid, but come on, people, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to work MY camcorder, cause someone threw the instructions away... ^^; 


	4. Mary Had a Little Lamb

Chapter 3: Mary had a Little Lamb OR Another Insane Story

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my OCs, and Kyoda's special technique. 

Kyoda: I AM NOT AN 'OC!' 

Kitsune: Shut up. 

Kyoda: Make me!

Kitsune: *Makes Youko Kurama disappear*

Kyoda: Shutting up!

Kitsune: *Makes Youko Kurama reappear* Heh, heh. Oh yeah, Koto IS a fox demon, because at the Dark Tournament, Yusuke was yelling at her "HEY! FOX LADY!"

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_(Scene is: Kitsune giving you the peace sign, Kyoda (still Youko) squeezing Youko Kurama to death, Kurama studying the camcorder, Lindsey and Katie playing tug of war using Hiei, Kuwabara challenging Yusuke, and Yusuke beating the crap out of Kuwabara.)_

Kitsune: YO! Welcome back to Screwed Up, Retarded Yu Yu Hakusho Versions of Nursery Songs! Today, we have a very special story for you! Drum roll, please! 

Some random person in the audience: *Throws a roll shaped like a drum onstage* 

Kitsune: *Sweatdrop* Well... whatever! We will do "Mary Had a Little Lamb!" 

YYH cast (except Kurama): NOOOO!!! 

Kitsune: Yep! Yusuke, check scenery! 

Yusuke: *Dreading, looks onstage* NOOOOOOOOOOO!! *Scenery is blue schoolyard with purple playground equipment. The climbing cage looks like Kurama's hair in the morning. AKA: really messed up and tangled* You need to get some more paint! 

Katie: Hey... don't blame us! We don't have any money! 

Lindsey: Yeah, Yusuke. If we had some money we'd go and get some more paint... and professional artists! 

Yusuke: *Taps the inside of your computer monitor* HEY! YEAH, YOU, REVIEWER! DO YOU HEAR ME? GIVE THE PEOPLE SOME MONEY SO THEY CAN GET MORE PAINT! GOT IT?

Lindsey: Yusuke, that's mean! And rude... Reviewers, you don't have to give us anything... Yusuke's just being a jerk because he doesn't like our work. In fact, DON'T give us anything. It'll make the story funnier.

Yusuke: WHO ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO? THAT FREAK OR ME, YUSUKE URAMESHI? 

Reviewers: *Point to Lindsey* 

Lindsey: Yay!

Yusuke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! 

Kitsune: There's my cue! 

Kurama: *Turns camcorder on and presses the record button*

Kitsune: *Begins reciting* Mary-

Yusuke: *Is pulled backstage and pushed back Onstage wearing a Japanese style girl's school uniform, with a green blouse and skirt, and a red scarf. (imagine Yusuke in Keiko's clothes, just different colors)* 

Kitsune: -had a little lamb.

Hiei: *Is pushed onstage wearing a Halloween lamb costume, you know, like the ones little kids wear, just a bit bigger* 

Kitsune: Little lamb, little lamb!

Hiei: I AM NOT a little lamb! 

Kitsune: *Completely ignores him* Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow.

Kyoda (when I say this, I mean Youko until I say she turned back): *Takes a bag of flour and dumps it all on Hiei*

Katie: Well... he's white as _flour..._

Kitsune: Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went, Everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go.

Yusuke: *Walks across the stage*

Hiei: *Walks across the stage*

Yusuke: *Climbs on the scenery*

Hiei: *Climbs on the scenery*

Yusuke: *Jumps on a sand-bag*

Hiei: *Jumps on the same sand-bag*

Sandbag: *Snaps*

Yusuke: *Falls*

Hiei: *Falls*

Yusuke: STOP STALKING ME, @$^&*%!!!!! 

Kitsune: It followed her-uh... him to school one day, school one day, school one day. It followed him-uh... her...? To school one day, which was against the rules. 

Kuwabara: Why the @*%#^ should Urameshi CARE?! He breaks the rules all the time! 

Yusuke AKA Mary: True 

Kitsune: JUST DO IT! 

_(A scenery wall comes down to show the inside of a schoolhouse. The desks look like a beaver made them, and the chair legs look like they're infested with termites)_

Yusuke: NOOOOOO!!!!! 

Kuwabara: *Gets pushed onstage wearing a blue teacher outfit (imagine him in Mr. Iwamoto's clothes)* Hey, you can't bring pets to school. 

Hiei: I'm NOT A PET! 

Yusuke: *Ignores him* I can't help it if he stalks me! 

Kitsune: It made the children laugh and play, laugh and play, laugh and play. It made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school.

Random little kids: *Pushed onstage, immediately being laughing at Yusuke and Hiei*

Kitsune: Why does the lamb love Mary so, Mary so, Mary so? Why does the lamb love Mary so, the eager children cried. 

Hiei: *Glances at Yusuke, then slowly starts reaching for his katana, to find it's not here.* WHAT?! WHERE THE*#&%*&#@^%@ IS MY NEW KATANA?!?!

Lindsey: *Is nowhere to be found* 

Kitsune: Why, Mary loves the lamb you know, lamb you know, lamb you know. Why, Mary loves the lamb you know, the teacher did reply.

Yusuke: *Glances at Hiei, then slowly starts powering up his spirit gun.*

Kitsune: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow.

Yusuke: *Shoots spirit gun, hits Hiei full force, and burns him black.*

Hiei: *Blows out a little mushroom cloud of smoke*

Yusuke: Heh, heh, heAAHHH! *Is buried in a ton of junk thrown by Hiei fans* @_@ 

Kitsune: Okay... well... that was messed up... YAAY! WE HAVE REACHED OUR GOAL! 

Lindsey: *Comes back with bulging pockets* Awww... is it over?

Kitsune: Yeah. Where were _you? _

Lindsey: Auctioning off Hiei's katana to his fans. 

Everyone: *Sweatdrop*

Kurama: I FOUND A TAPE TO RECORD EVERYTHING ON! 

Everyone: *Sweatdrop* 

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AN: Heh, heh... Um... Yes, yet another stupid insane thing from the bowels of my very scary, wild, untamed imagination. People, I KNOW Kurama isn't THAT stupid, but if he's here, listening AND watching these I.Q. Dropping plays, he's BOUND to lose SOME brain cells. OMG! Am _I losing brain cells?! I'm the one WRITING THIS! Can't put much here, except that if you review, next I'll put up 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' and 'I'm a Little Teapot.' And if anyone would be so kind as to lend Youko some Glomp-B-Gone, he would much appreciate it. _

Youko: *Is being glomped to death* Help... me! 

Kyoda: *Squeezes him harder*

Youko: *Turns blue* Can't breathe... need air...

Kyoda: Heh, heh

~Koganeiro Kitsune


	5. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Chapter 4: Row, Row, Row Your Boat, and I'm a Little Teapot, OR More Stupid Stories

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. However, I DO own all my OCs. I give partial credit to Saria for also making up The Phoenix of the Light Ember's name. Okay? Oh, and thank you to everyone who reviewed, and for all the nice items! Youko thanks you too. Oh, and someone asked what a 'glomp' was. It's a form of intense squeezing someone to death, just hugging like.

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_(scene is: Kitsune motioning to you, Kyoda attached to Youko, Youko desperately spraying himself with Glomp-B-Gone, Kuwabara setting up a trap over the bathroom door, Hiei polishing his EBay-proof katana, Katie and Lindsey plotting ways to sell Hiei's katana, Yusuke reading the camcorder instructions to Kurama, and Kurama trying to follow the camcorder instructions.)_

Kitsune: Welcome back! First, I want to re-thank everyone for all the nice items, especially for all the prettyful shades of paint!

Yusuke: You got more paint?! 

Kitsune: Yep. 

Yusuke: *celebrating*

Kitsune: Listen to all the pretty shades! Bright red, pretty pink, neon green, red, pink, orange, purple, and blue! 

Yusuke: *stops celebrating abruptly* &#%$!*, &$^*#&, $*@&#^, %$%!*&#!!!!!!!!! 

Kurama: Less cursing, more reading! *Fumbles with camcorder.* 

Yusuke: *Fuming, clutching instructions so hard, they rip.* 

Kurama: NOOOOOO!!! 

Yusuke: *Ignoring him, sets torn instructions on the ground and blasts them with the spirit gun*

Kurama: T.T NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yusuke: I feel better now.

Kurama: *Tackles Yusuke like a rabid animal.* YOU DESTROYED MY CAMCORDER SAVIOR! YOU WILL PAY!

Yusuke: *Trying to get the rabid, scratching, punching, biting thing off him* 

Everyone else: *sweatdrop* 

Youko: AHA! I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY SPRAYED EVERY CAN OF GLOMP-B-GONE ON ME! NOW I WILL NOT BE GLOMPED! 

Kyoda (yes, Youko, until I say she changed back): *Tries to tackle and glomp him, but bounces off the air two feet in front of him. She is confused, and tries again with the same result.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Remember, Kyoda is an ancient spirit. She doesn't need to breathe.)

Everyone else: O.O;

Yusuke: Man, she's depressed. 

Youko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO MORE GLOMPING! *opens door to bathroom, and has a bucket of water dumped on him*

Kuwabara: Ha, ha, Youko. You walked right into my trap! Ha, ha

Youko: *Is soaking wet* OH NO!

Kuwabara: Huh? 

Youko: YOU *&^#%^%, &%@&$@, @#%^@$, @*$^%&*$^, $U#*%! YOU WASHED ALL THE GLOMP-B-GONE OFF!

Kyoda: *Launches herself at Youko and glomps him tightly* I missed you! 

Youko: *takes out fangirl repellent, and pours the whole formula on him. Looks down, to see Kyoda still attached to him.*

Kuwabara: I'VE GOT A TWIN! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! 

Youko: *rushes in the bathroom, and looks in the mirror* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

Yusuke: *snickers* Youko screams like a girl. *Snickers* 

Youko: YOU WOULD TOO IF YOU LOOKED LIKE THIS! *Rushes out, with Kyoda unattached from him* 

Yusuke: AAAAHHH! NOOOO! ONE KUWABARA IS BAD ENOUGH TO LOOK AT!

Youko: *Looks exactly like Kuwabara, just with his own voice*

Lindsey: *Comes out* Well... it'll repel fangirls...

Kyoda: *Running towards Youko with a bucket of water in hand. Sprays it all over him* 

Youko: *Turns back to normal, sighs in relief* 

Kyoda: *Glomps him* 

Youko: Not again...

Kitsune: OKAY, PEOPLE! ENOUGH STALLING! WE'VE GOT TO START THE FANFIC! And get Hiei in here... 

Hiei: *Appears, his EBay proof katana in its sheath.* I'm here. 

Kitsune: Good! Now, this one, we are going to do at an actual site. Not on a painted scenery. 

Yusuke: YAAAAAAY! 

_(Everyone treks out in the forest to a river. Kitsune gets a rowboat, and drags it to the river. Then, she plunks Kuwabara in it.)_

Kitsune: Okay, everyone! Let's begin!

Kurama: *gets the tape, pushes the on button, and the record button*

Kitsune: Row, row, row your boat-

Kuwabara: *attaches motor to it* YEEEAAAHOOOOOO!!!!!! 

Kitsune: Gently down the stream-

Kuwabara: *looks ahead* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRFAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!! (Translation: AH! Waterfall!)

Kitsune: Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily-

Kuwabara: *is running around the boat, panicking*

Kitsune: Life is but a dream.

Hiei: *jumps in the boat, knocks Kuwabara out, and comes back*

Kuwabara: ZZZZZzzzzzz

Boat: *goes over waterfall* 

Kurama: I FOUND THE TAPE SLOT!

Kitsune: *snaps fingers, and Kuwabara appears, though still soaking wet* Okay, people. The next nursery song will be 'I'm a Little Teapot!'

Kuwabara: *wakes up* You are?

Hiei: *knocks him out again* 

Kuwabara: ZZZZZzzzzzz

Kitsune: Thank you, Hiei.

Hiei: Hn. 

Kitsune: *snaps fingers, and everyone is back at the stage* Yusuke, check scenery! 

Yusuke: I'm gonna regret this... *looks onstage* AAAAAAACK!!!!!!! *scenery is a happy sparkly, neon green garden with a neon yellow orange sun in the middle. There is a thing painted on the floor that is TRYING to look like the top of the table, but it's pretty pink.* MY EYES! THEY BURN!

Kyoda: I don't think we made it THAT bright...

Yusuke: *sweatdrop* 

Kitsune: Okay!

Kurama: *inserts tape, turns on camcorder, presses record button* 

Kitsune: I'm a little teapot-

Hiei: *is pushed onstage wearing a poofy teapot costume that's so fat, he can hardly move. There's a 50 times too big spout at the side, and Hiei is wearing the handle for a cap* 

Kitsune: Short and stout!

Kuwabara: SHORT IS RIGHT!

Hiei: *reaches for katana, and, yup, finds it's not there* Not again...

Kitsune: Here is my handle-

Hiei: *points to handle*

Kitsune: Here is my spout!

Hiei: *points to spout*

Kitsune: When I get all steamed up-

Kyoda: *runs onstage, and starts whispering things to Hiei*

Hiei: *gets REALLY angry*

Youko: *runs away*

Kitsune: Hear me shout!

Hiei: KIIIIIIIIITSUUUUUUUUNE NOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (Translation: KITSUNE NO BAKA!)

Kitsune: Then tip me over-

Kyoda: *pushes Hiei*

Kitsune: And pour me out!

Hiei: *falls out of the spout* KURAMA! WHERE ARE YOU?!

Kyoda: *tells him something, and he immediately calms down*

Kurama: HEY! THE TAPE WAS FULL!

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Katie and Lindsey: *come back, with BIG grins on their faces*

Kitsune: Let me guess. You auctioned off Hiei's katana, right?

Katie: Nope. It was EBay proof. 

Lindsey: Here it is. *hands Hiei katana*

Hiei: *draws sword, and it immediately shatters* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Katie and Lindsey: *snicker*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: So, how'd you like it? Yet another insane story from the randomness of my brain. If you review, you'll get 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider!' Thanks! Bye for now!

~Koganeiro Kitsune 


	6. The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Chapter 5: The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH. I do own Kyoda and Katie and Lindsey. 

Kyoda: You do not own me! I own me!

Youko: *starts to fade*

Kyoda: YOU OWN ME! I AM ALL YOURS, MASTER!!! (For any perverts out there, NO, NOT LIKE THAT! LEGAL contracty own)

Kitsune: Much better. 

Youko: *Is back to being solid*

Kurama: You know, sometimes I wonder who the evil one REALLY is...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_(Scene is: Kitsune hugging her Kurama Plushie, Kyoda stalking Youko, Youko staggering under all the Glomp-B-Gone, Kurama looking between the two camcorders and reading 'Camcorders for Dummies', Yusuke accusing Kuwabara of stealing his hair gel, Kuwabara accusing Yusuke of stealing his tear gem Yukina gave to him, Hiei holding the hair gel in one hand and the tear gem in another, snickering, wearing the two swords and pepper spray on his belt, and Katie and Lindsey  plotting ways to get Hiei's swords.)_

Kitsune: Welcome back to Screwed up Versions of Yu Yu Hakusho Nursery Songs! I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating, I've had school, and homework, and school, oh, did I mention I had school? Oh, and if anyone is reading this, updates for this are going to be few and far between until I finish Perfect Revenge. And I only update when I get some reviews. Is it blackmail? I don't know. We're both getting something... 

Youko: So... Much... Stuff... So... HEAVY! 

Kyoda (still Youko!): *Has an idea. Leads Youko over to a hole in the ground* Hey, Why not store it in here? 

Youko: *Apparently not using his brain* Okay! *Drops all Glomp-B-Gone in hole* Hey, what was that?

Kyoda: MUHAHAHAHAA! THAT WAS A BLACK HOLE! 

Youko: *Confused* Aren't all holes black?

Everyone: *Sweatdrop* 

Kurama: *Walks over to the black hole, absorbed in 'Camcorders for Dummies,' holding the new camcorder instructions in the other hand.

Kitsune: *Makes sure no one is watching. Sticks out foot* 

Kurama: *Trips and stumbles over foot, Book and instructions go flying into the hole* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kitsune: *Snickers* 

Youko: *Looks at Kyoda* You know, I still have the LIFETIME SUPPLY!!! 

Kyoda: How do we know they gave it to _you_? 

Youko: *Still not using his brain, pulls out a certificate* See? This certificate entitles _me_ for the lifetime supply!

Kyoda: *Snatches certificate, rips it to pieces, burns it to ashes, and throws the remains in the black hole* Heh, heh... 

Youko: NOOOOO! *Jumps in after it* 

Kyoda: *Jumps after Youko* 

Kitsune: Well... we won't be seeing _them_ in a while...

Black Hole: *Suddenly flares up, and shows a VERY angry (and ugly) fat red person with horns and a tail, a small head, and brown hair, holding Kyoda and Youko by their collars in different hands*

Kyoda: Hi, Hikari!

Kitsune and Katie: AAAAHHHH NOOOOO!!! IT IS OUR SIXTH GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER!! THE HORROR! THE HORROR! 

Teacher: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE TWO HAVE DONE?!

Katie: *Points to Kitsune* SHE DID IT! SHE'S THE AUTHORESS! 

Teacher: THEY VIOLATED THE SCHOOL UNIFORM POLICY! 

Everyone: *Anime fall* 

Teacher: *Dumps Kyoda and Youko on the ground, and goes back into black hole* 

Lindsey: I now see why people say that whatever goes into a black hole doesn't come out again... 

Kyoda: *Glomps Youko* 

Youko: I know, I should be used to it now, BUT I'M NOT! 

Kitsune: I think we should get started now. Thank you everyone for the paint! 

Yusuke: NEW PAINT!? 

Kitsune: Yep. And they're not all bright neon colors, either. 

Yusuke: *Is REALLY celebrating now* 

Kitsune: So... *grabs all non-bright and happy colors, and throws them in the black hole*

Voice in hole: OW!

Yusuke: Aw man... I REFUSE TO GO CHECK THE SCENERY!

Kitsune: Fine. Kurama?

Kurama: *Goes and checks the scenery. It is a well painted side-view of a farmhouse, with a spout and gutter. The colors are all appropriate* Wow. Nice.

Yusuke: Wait, HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?

Kitsune: We got a professional artist.

Yusuke: YOU SAID YOU HAD NO MONEY!

Kitsune: We got him hired using the nickel, paperclip, and piece of lint a reviewer gave us.

Yusuke: *Sweatdrop*

Kitsune: Time to get started! Hiei?!

Hiei: *Appears, with everything the reviewers gave him* What?

Kitsune: We're starting, and you play the main character! 

Hiei: You can't force me to do anything else, you signed a contract that says that you promised won't force me to do anything else, and that I can come and go as I please.

Kitsune: WHAT?! LET ME SEE!

Hiei: *Hands her a piece of paper* 

Paper: I promise I won't force Hiei to do anything else, and he can come and go as he pleases. Signed, Koganero Kitsune. 

Hiei: *Smug look on his face*

Kitsune: Uh... Hiei?

Hiei: What?

Kitsune: 'Koganeiro' has an 'I' in it. 

Hiei: NOOOOO!

Kitsune: That's my cue! The itsy bitsy spider-

Hiei: *Is pushed onstage wearing a spider costume with only four legs.* OKAY, THIS HEIGHT THING HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH! First it was LITTLE Miss Muffit. Then, it was the part of a field mouse. A FIELD MOUSE! Then, it was the part of the LITTLE lamb, and then I had to be that stupid teapot, SHORT AND STOUT! BUT ITSY BITSY, THAT'S IT! YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE, RIGHT THERE! 

Kuwabara: Jeez, who knew Shorty was so sensitive? 

Hiei: STOP CALLING ME THAT! OR-

Kyoda: *Runs onstage, taped Hiei's mouth shut with duct tape* Ahhh... good old duct tape

Kuwabara: DUCK TAPE!? How could you be so mean to the ducks?! 

Everyone: *Totally ignores him*

Kitsune: Climbed up the water spout.

Hiei: *Refuses to move*

Kyoda: *Runs up, grabs him, and stuffs him up a cardboard tube, then runs offstage*

Hiei: Mmph! MMMpph! Mnnmmph! 

Kitsune: Down came the rain-

Hiei: HM?!

Kitsune: And washed the spider out! 

Hiei: MMPH! MMMMNNNPH! MMNNNPH! MMM! MM! MMMMMPH! 

Kyoda: Grabs a big bucket of water, and dumps it in the tube, washing Hiei out. 

Hiei: *Gets VERY angry* 

Kitsune: Up came the sun-

Kuwabara: *is being dangled from the ceiling, painted neon yellow*

Kitsune: And dried up all the rain-

Kyoda: *Blow dries everything with a huge blast of her Ki* 

Hiei: *Is almost blown out the door, but is caught by Katie* Mmmph! 

Katie: HIEI! DON'T SAY THAT TO ME! 

Kurama: How you can understand that, I will never know... 

Kitsune: And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

Kyoda: *Stuffs Hiei up the tube again, then pulls him out and removes the duct tape*

Hiei: *Growls, reaches for swords and pepper spray, and neither are there... yet again.* WHAT?! THERE WAS AN ANTI-THEFT SPELL ON IT! I SAW THE WARD!

Youko: *Waves a piece of paper at Hiei tauntingly* 

Hiei: KURAMA! YOU TRAITOR!

Kurama: Huh? 

Hiei: *Jumps at Youko*

Youko: *Sprays Hiei with pepper spray*

Hiei: KURAMA!!! AAAAAAH! 

Kurama: WHAT?!

Hiei: YOU MADE ME SMELL LIKE PEPPERS!

Everyone: *Sweatdrop*

Kurama: *Pulls tape out of camcorder* A-HA! I have successfully taped a song!

Hiei: *Staggering around, bumps into Kurama*

Kurama: Whoa... *Falls, tape flies out of his hand and into the black hole* T.T NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! T.T

Kitsune: There went another try... 

Lindsey: *Suddenly appears*

Kitsune: Let me guess... you just auctioned off Hiei's swords to someone.

Lindsey: No... I just went to the bathroom.

Kitsune: *Blinks* Then where are his swords? *Hears Kuwabara scream*

Katie: *Is chasing around Kuwabara, setting him on fire, waving the sword like a maniac* MUHAHAHAHAAA!

Hiei's Other Sword: *Is lying on the floor, forgotten* 

Lindsey: *Grabs sword* ALL MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MIIIIINE! *Runs off*

Kitsune: I guess we won't be seeing _her_ anymore... 

Everyone: *Watches Lindsey run out the door, screaming in delight* *Sweatdrop*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: *Faints from sheer length of the chapter* Please review, and if you want another chapter, as stated above, review on Perfect Revenge, and when _that's done, the updates will come along a LOT faster. Promise! Next up, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star!_


	7. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Chapter 6: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. YOU HEAR ME?! NOTHING! I OWN NOTHING!! NOTHING AT ALL! Well... for the exception of myself, Katie, and-

Kyoda: *growls* *intense fiery Hiei death glare*

Kitsune: YOU BAKA! THAT'S HIEI'S DEATH GLARE!!! *smashes Kyoda over the head with the frying pan of doom* HA!

Kyoda: @_@ Oro?

Kitsune: AND THAT'S KENSHIN'S LINE! *bonks Kyoda over the head again* HA to the second power!

Kyoda: YAMI ABUSE! *zaps back to the Millennium Tiara*

Kurama: Ha to the second power? 

Kitsune: Yeah! You know, that means 'Ha squared' meaning Ha x Ha, or Haha. *screams* MATH!!! EVIL MATH!!! IT'S GETTING TO ME!! HEEEELP! *grabs the front of Kurama's shirt* RUN WHILE YOU CAN!! *tosses him out the window* 

Kurama: AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhh! *scream slowly fades*

Kitsune: OH MY GOD! I JUST TOSSED MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OUT THE SECOND STORY WINDOW!  KYOOOODA!!

Kyoda: *appears with an army helmet* What? 

Kitsune: GO GET KURAMA! 

Kyoda: After you smashed my skull in twice?

Kitsune: Pleeeeease?! *big puppy dog eyes* Onegai?

Kyoda: ... I really hate you, you know that? I really hate you!

Kitsune: Thank you!

Kyoda: *jumps out the second story window*

Kurama: *suddenly pops up out of nowhere* Huh?

Kitsune: OH YEAH! Authoress powers!

Kyoda: *voice floats in from the open window* I **_REALLY_** HATE YOOooouuu....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_(scene is: Kitsune nursing Kyoda's head wounds (see insert above), Kurama standing by, shaking his head, Hiei polishing all eleven swords (from asian princess 61 and Kitsune Akira) with a rag, Youko desperately spraying all the Glomp-B-Gone on him, Kuwabara overseeing construction of the new pool, Yusuke constructing the new pool, and Katie trying to work the hose to fill up the new pool)_

Kitsune: Welcome back! Did you enjoy your break from this? Did you miss me?

Hiei, Kuwabara, Yusuke, Kyoda: Yes, no.

Kitsune: ANYWAY! *spreads arms so she hits Kyoda in the back of the head*

Kyoda: OW!

Kitsune: I say hi to you, and... HI! *waves hands so she hits Kyoda in the back of the head again*

Kyoda: STOP WITH THE HAND MOTIONS!

Kitsune: *snickers* Revenge...

Kyoda: FOR WHAT?!

Kitsune: ... Let me get back to you on that one.

Kyoda: *sweatdrops*

Youko: *throws away the last empty can of Glomp-B-Gone* BWAHAHAHAA!!! NEVERMORE, NEVERMORE! *runs around quoting from The Raven* (thanks to asian princess 61)

Kitsune: *to Kurama* Has he been sniffing paint fumes again?

Kurama: No. Yesterday, I was working on a project, and he discovered the joys of rubber cement.

Kitsune: *blinks* You know, with every whiff of that you take, you lose like, a thousand brain cells.

Kurama: So? He only uses about two percent of his brain, anyhow!

Kitsune: ... true... *watches Youko run around* You know, this is actually amusing to watch.

Kurama: ... Not to mention embarrassing...

Kitsune: ... OH YEAH!! Thanks to The Kitsune of Chaos, we now got enough funds to build a new pool! And there it is, right there: *points to where the black hole previously was*

Yusuke: DONE! *climbs out of the pool* Okay, fill it up!

Katie: OKAY! *fills up pool* DONE! Who's going to be the first to jump in?

Youko: BWAHAHAHAA!!! 

Kitsune: Youko! Watch ou-

Kurama: *groans* Too late...

Youko: BWAHAHAHAH- *falls in pool* *reappears, soaked, eyes widen* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME! 

Kitsune: Oooh... There goes Kyoda... *motions to the obsessed Yami*

Youko: I GOT MY ONLY TUNIC WET!!! 

Everyone: *anime fall* 

Kurama: Why do you only have ONE tunic?!

Youko: I never needed another one. *climbs out, and shakes like a dog... er fox* Oh well... at least the rest of me is dr-

Kyoda: *smashes into Youko, knocking them both back into the pool*

Youko: WAH! NOW ITS EVEN WETTER! *climbs out* WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?! WAH!

Long, long, long, looooooong pieces of paper: *fall out of nowhere and bury him in an avalanche* (this is amazing because Youko is over seven feet tall)

Yusuke: *grabs the nearest paper* Lets see here... Stole Desert Ruby, Stole Pharaoh's Emerald, Stole Emperor's Diamond, Stole King's Sapphire, Stole... *eyes widen, squints at the paper* A THONG?!

Youko: *stammering* It-it-it-it was for... my sister!

Hiei: *suddenly looks up* You don't _have_ a sister!

Youko: *sputters* HOW DO YOU KNOW?! Oh wait... did I just admit I didn't have a sister?

Everyone: Yes.

Youko: ...#(#$&@@#*%&)$*!!!!!

Yusuke: That's just wrong...

Kyoda: True, but... YOU HAVE REPENTED! I DON'T CARE! *glomps Youko*

Youko: I wish she did...

Kitsune: Okay, people! I REALLY think its time to get going!

Kyoda: Phht... *accidently hits Kitsune*

Kitsune: *drops everything the reviewers gave her* OH NO! My Kuwabaka voodoo doll from Joey-kun(thanks!), Hiei's dream catcher from Yumi (Hiei says thanks!), winged shoes from Saki (Hiei says thanks!), Hiei's lifetime supply of Katanas certificate from Lady Wolf Moon (Hiei says thanks!) sleeping powder from dustbunny690 (thanks!), and jalapeños and sweet snow from Sailor Dark(thanks!)!!!

Hiei: *redeems what is his, plus takes the sweet snow* 

Kurama: Sweet snow, Hiei? 

Hiei: Hn...

Yusuke: *grabs Kuwabaka voodoo doll* Heh heh... *pokes it in the eye* 

Kuwabaka: Ow! *rubs eye*

Yusuke: *surprised it worked* starts poking the doll everywhere*

Kuwabaka: Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, OW!!!!

Yusuke: BWAHAHAAAAA!!! 

Kurama: Since when does Yusuke say 'Bwahaha'?

Kitsune: ... since now!

Kurama: ... oookay...

Kyoda: *blinks* *grabs sleeping powder* *rips open bag* 

Sleeping powder: *goes all on Kurama*

Kyoda: Whoops...

Kurama: Oh no... ROSES! YOU HAVE BETRAY- *snore* 

Kitsune: Kurama? Kurama? Kura-chan? Rama-sama? OI!

Kurama: *snore*

Yusuke: Kura-chan and Rama-sama?

Kitsune: -^_^-

Yusuke: That's very sad.

Kitsune: I know.

Yusuke: YOU're very sad.

Kitsune: I know.

Yusuke: That's just pathetic.

Kitsune: I know. OI! WE HAVE TO GET GOING ON THIS!!!

Yusuke: Fine. I'll go get Hiei.

Kitsune: How did you know?!

Yusuke: It's called 'Twinkle Twinkle LITTLE Star...' 

Kitsune: Oh yeah... HIEI!

Hiei: *appears, wearing all 11 swords, and his winged shoes.* 

Kitsune: Take the swords and shoes off. You've got to get into costume.

Hiei: Why would I listen to the likes of YOU?

Kitsune: *tauntingly* I'll get you sweet snooooowwww...

Hiei: *takes off all swords BUT the mini and shoes* Better be a HELL of a lotta sweet snow!

Kitsune: DEAL! 

Kyoda: *stuffs him into costume* 

Hiei: Wait, what am I playing?

Everyone: *ignores him*

Kitsune: Yusuke! Check scenery!

Yusuke: Fine, fine. *looks around to the front* AAAH! *scenery is a green and neon purple sky with red dots for 'stars'* WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

Kitsune: THAT is my cue! Twinkle, twinkle, little star 

Hiei: *is hoisted up into the 'sky'* THERE YOU GO WITH THE 'LITTLE' AGAIN!

Kitsune: *ignores him... as usual* How I wonder what you are

Hiei: YOU'LL BE WONDERING WHAT **_YOU_** ARE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!

Kitsune: Up above the world so high

Hiei: Huh? Wait...

Kyoda: *operating the lifting thingy* Hee hee... *forces Hiei upward*

Hiei: *smashes his head on a metal beam* @_@ *dazingly* Yes, twinkle, twinkle... whee...

Kuwabara: HAHA! SHRIMP MADE A DENT IN THE METAL!

Kitsune: *disturbed* Like a diamond in the sky

Hiei: Diamond... pretty... twinkle, twinkle... pretty diamond... shiny...

Kitsune: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, How I wonder what you are.

Hiei: *is set gently on the ground* *swaggers around* Twinkle, shiny, shiiiiny...

Youko: SHINY?! WHERE!?! I WANT THE SHINY! SHINY IS MIIIIIIIIIIINE!

Kitsune: Note to self, NEVER EVER EVER let Youko have rubber cement. EVER

Yusuke: Hey, Kurama, you get that on tape?

Kurama: *snores* *drools*

Yusuke: Guess not...

Kitsune: Hey, Hiei, whatever happened to your certificate entitling you to a lifetime supply of katanas?

Hiei: *still dazed* *pulls it out*

Kitsune: *smirks, grabs a permanent marker and makes a few marks on it* Here: *hands it back to Hiei*

Hiei: *take it, looks at it* O.O WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY CERTIFICATE?!

Kuwabara: Guess he's not dazed anymore...

Kitsune: *looks at certificate* YOUR certificate, Hiei? Looks like its entitled to... Hei.

Hiei: YOU SCRATCHED OUT THE 'I' IN HIEI!

Kitsune: Oh well...

Hiei: *reaches for swords, and (can you guess the motif now?) yes, they are gone* Grr... WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ANTI THEFT WARDS?!

Youko: *walks by, completely dry* 

Hiei: *Grabs Youko by the front and jerks him down to eye level. This, as you can imagine, is quite humorous, as Youko is over 7 feet tall, and Hiei is JUST over 5 feet* WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE ANTI THEFT WARDS?!

Youko: Well, first off, EVER HEARD OF TOOTHPASTE?! I'VE GOT A SENSITIVE NOSE! *fans air in front of his nose* And anyhow, I needed SOMETHING to dry myself off with...

Hiei: *lets go of Youko, starts banging his head on the wall*

Yusuke: Stop Hiei, before you make a hole in the wall.

Hiei: *stops, gets an idea* *grabs Kuwabaka* BATTERING RAM COMING THROUGH!

Yusuke: GOOD IDEA! *grabs Kuwabaka* SMASH THAT WALL!

Everyone (minus the knocked out Kurama): *watches their futile efforts*

Yusuke: One, two, three, GO! 

BAM!

Kuwabara: OW!

Yusuke: One, two, three, GO!

BAM!

Kuwabara: OW!

Yusuke: One, two, three, GO!

BAM!

Kuwabara: OW!

Everyone: *sweatdrop, twitch*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, since I didn't update for so long, that was an extra long chapter! Now, REVIEW, AND YOU'LL GET Uh... ROCK A BYE BABY!! YEAH!!! Later, and please disregard any smashing sounds you hear in the background... *looks over shoulder*

Yusuke: One, two, three, GO!

BAM!

Kuwabara: OW!

Yusuke: One, two-

Hiei: SHUT UP ALREADY AND SMASH HARDER!

BAM!

Kuwabara: OW!

~Koganeiro Kitsune


End file.
